Kneeboard Surfing USA Community Forum

I walked out to my local break late on an always-crowded Sunday (MB Jetty). The water was a balmy 70 F, sun out, light offshores, 4-6 foot faces with good form and a southerly swell wrapping around the jetty. Counting surfers, the number climbed from 32 to 42 in about 10 minutes. Bad News!

No... Good News! Just to the north of this mass of inhumanity was a checkered flag for swimmers and spongers only. Zero surfers! No one was picking off the juicy outside set waves over here except for a few poaching surfers only to be run off every 10 minutes or so by the lifeguards. I ran home and grabbed my ancient boogie board with the half-peeled off Grateful Dead sticker and kicked to the outside. I had forgotten how slow and bumpy the old Morey was, but I had a blast catching as many waves as I wanted, alone. On more than one occasion I found myself instinctively jumping to my knees. King of the wankers.

The evolutionist teachings in my primitive brain kept saying, "You are adapting to a changing environment quite nicely, today!" I congratulated myself at exploiting this unfilled niche, but not without wishing I had a spongy-looking kneeboard that mimicked a boogie board. Isn't Bud working on one? Hmmm....

I felt a little ashamed, too , by taking such an easy path. But it reminded me of an old story about Vespas and big women (fun to ride but don't let anyone see you doing it) . Anyhow, wanker or not, I left the beach with a big smile - the ultimate measuring stick of any surf session.

An interesting day of mixed feelings.

jacksquid

PS. What exactly is a "wanker?"

Smart move Jack.
Also, Vespa's are cool
And I heard a wanker was the same as a tosser

ya that jetty (north jetty of mb harbour mouth???)....looks fun but is alway crowded........i was out on a 5'8 hard kneeboard and the life guards didnt kick me out of the black ball.........lucky a guess...my weight probably maded it look like a boog......it gets pretty didsgusting with the crowds there.....worst ive EVER seen.......elbow to elbow...not even kidding

Check Dale Solomonson's mats http://www.surfmat.com/

They blow the doors off boogies and should beat the black ball/checkered flag no problem. Lot harder to ride than a boogie but much faster. Sponge is the call for dumping shorepound though

Rob DiStefano made black ball beater kneeboards for a while. You can ask Paul Duquet, Mark Robertson, SuperEQ or me how fun they are.
Imagine having alll of El Porto south of 45th St to yourself on a sunny glassy peaky windswell combo day in the summer. Any spongers that know what they're doing go to Zuma, so you only have to deal with the crowd slalom when you get to the inside.

Previous post on Rob's boards
http://ksusa.org/Forum/viewtopic.php?p= ... 971cd2dffe

Lessons Learned:

1) Never use words you do not understand (e.g. wanker/tosser). For a full understanding, check out: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... A+-+Tosser

2) When surfers paddle into a swimming only area and you want them to leave, paddle into their midst (while smiling) on a bright orange sponge to attract the lifeguard's attention. Proceed to sit on a boil/peak and get all the outsiders to yourself. Go right or left. The downside is that you can't do the same thing on a kneeboard (or can you?).

3) Inflatables cost $350 US. I think I'll stick to dawn patrols on the KB or bright sponges on crowded days under the checkered flag.

By the way, Doc, I lived in Sebastopol for 14 years teaching middle school science at Twin Hills.

Time to go now. The tide, the surf, and the checkered flag is up.

Cheers (I think I can say that),

jacksquid